Fuck crunk music.

One of my favorite things to rant about these days is shitty music, and in particular, crunk music and America's infuriating obsession with it.

I want to make one thing clear right out of the gate, and that is that I love hip hop. It takes real talent to pull off hip hop well; and sadly more people have a record deal than talent deserving of one. But what I'm referring to here can't legitimately be called hip hop; in fact, it can't legitimately be called anything but horse shit.

I'm struggling to find words to express how aggravating it is when I'm walking on campus or I'm at a red light or I'm in a parking lot and I hear some zombie driving around with this crap blasting out of his speakers with so much bass that it sounds like he's got a bitch locked in his trunk. I'm not one of those ignorant fucks who says all hip hop sounds the same. That's a childish and uninformed statement, but I mean it when I say that all crunk music really does sound the same. It's the same generic beats manufactured from the same 808 kits, with the same uninspired lyrics completely devoid of meaning or substance, from the same industry stooges like the asshole pictured above. (For those of you fortunate enough to be unfamiliar, that's Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, the latest turd to be crapped from the anus that is the modern hip hop industry.) Hell, next to no one even tries to actually rap anymore, and most of the few who do, fail miserably at it.

I would almost say that hip hop has been dumbed-down, but that's a misleading statement, because to me "dumbed-down" implies that someone is stooping beneath his intellectual level to reach a certain demographic. But "dumbed-down" is not appropriate here because no one involved with this shit could possibly have the intelligence or artistic integrity God typically bestows upon a sofa cushion. I'll tell you what: bring me proof of any kind of artistic value in the phrase "Supaman dat hoe" and I will delete this blog.

I usually conclude my rants about shitty hip hop by encouraging people to listen to good hip hop. Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common, The Roots. Someone with something to say, or at the very least, talent. Even Kanye, who's not great (good, but not great) is leaps and bounds above just about all other mainstream hip hop. I've seen response to criticism of people like Soulja Boy, and it usually reads, "y u be hatin on soulja boy bitch when his new albm drop he gon be off da hook an all da hatas gon be on his shit peace we$t $ide 4eva," and to that I really can't do anything but nearly piss myself laughing, because such comments really speak for themselves and the kind of idiots who are dumb enough buy into shit like this in the first place. And before anyone says it, because we're all thinking it, I'm fully aware that I'm white and that that alone takes away whatever credibility I may have had to begin with, but I don't care. Music is music, and I love music, and all I'm doing is expanding my musical horizons; challenging myself. I challenge you to do the same.

»Download: 4 GOOD Hip Hop Songs