I love complaining. I am all about complaints and the general art and science of complaining, as long as it pertains to me and no one else. I'll complain about anything at any given time until a) I get my way, which never happens; b) I get tired of complaining, which is almost always temporary; or c) I find something to complain about, which happens frequently. So given that complaining is one of my past times, it should come as no surprise as to what one of the very few functions ("function" being a loose term) of this here blog is: complaining. To that end, I give you, in no particular order, the official list of things that piss me off:
Most hip hop that comes out these days, specifically any variety of snap music; people that buy into said bullshit and drive around with it blasting out of their cars or have it as their ringtones; ringtones in general; people who can't drive or who drive like shitheads; people who can drive better than me; people who can do anything else better than me; the fact that I don't have a Mac; the fact that my mom, my girlfriend, and my best friend all have Macs; police around here; over-anxious, bored police in general; when Ben beats me in a NINJA CRISIS!!!!!!; when Courtney sticks her fingers in my butt; people who complain more than I do; people who get away with a lot more stuff than I do, have, or will; Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and every last other obnoxious publicity whore; people who are obsessed with said publicity whores and survive on Us Weekly and TMZ; people who swear more than I do; homophobes; over-the-top conservatives; over-the-top liberals; the four people left who still support Bush; people who bash Bush simply because it's cool to do; people who don't listen; cats; the fact that my dog smells horrible and still insists on trying to sleep on my bed (where only one horrible-smelling person is supposed to sleep, and that is me); closed-minded people; people who listen to shitty music; people who don't listen to music period; people who have no sense of humor or who can't appreciate my particularly warped one; girls who only go out with "cool/hot" guys who are almost always assholes and then have the audacity to bitch to me that all guys are insensitive pricks; fighting with my girlfriend; dumbasses who don't believe in global warming; assholes who won't shut the fuck up already about global warming; gas; driving (to clarify, I used to love it but now that I do nothing but it I fucking hate it); the fact that Ben didn't stay here when he moved after Katrina; Ben's steroid-enhanced muscles; people who don't like Star Wars; people who have never seen Star Wars; people who don't like Star Wars despite having never seen any of them; child molestors; when people don't come to see me play; sixteen year old kids with BMW's that their parents bought them; people that have nicer guitars than I do (which is everyone); people that won't read all of this list; people who think taking pictures equals photography or makes them photographers; people who think that because they write a bunch of bullshit separated by line breaks that it equals poetry or makes them poets; girls who have pussies that smell like turkey; a girl I know to whom the last three things I listed apply; pretentious snobs; Fox News; when I fart and no one notices; middle-aged women who watch Desperate Housewives and think it speaks to them; people who are too stupid to grasp the concept of satire; anyone that has ever woken me up, whether I needed to be woken up or not; the process of waking up in general; people who make assumptions; hypocrites; people who don't know the difference between good music/movies/whatever and music/movies/whatever that they like; when girls start talking about weight; the fact that Godzilla never visited Los Angeles; the fact that Los Angeles still hasn't broken off the continent yet; wearing pants; people who think they're hot shit and aren't; people who are hot shit but don't think they are; people who make the same face and peace sign in 20 million of the same MySpace pictures; slutty girls; people who blow me off; when I blow someone off; people who don't speak English in places where English needs to be spoken (I'm talking to you, McDonald's), people who listen to songs, but not albums; people that don't listen to Tool; people who only talk about their car; people who talk on cell phones in movies; Bible-thumpers; holes in my sock.
And the worst part is, now I feel like I've actually done something productive with my day.
Most hip hop that comes out these days, specifically any variety of snap music; people that buy into said bullshit and drive around with it blasting out of their cars or have it as their ringtones; ringtones in general; people who can't drive or who drive like shitheads; people who can drive better than me; people who can do anything else better than me; the fact that I don't have a Mac; the fact that my mom, my girlfriend, and my best friend all have Macs; police around here; over-anxious, bored police in general; when Ben beats me in a NINJA CRISIS!!!!!!; when Courtney sticks her fingers in my butt; people who complain more than I do; people who get away with a lot more stuff than I do, have, or will; Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and every last other obnoxious publicity whore; people who are obsessed with said publicity whores and survive on Us Weekly and TMZ; people who swear more than I do; homophobes; over-the-top conservatives; over-the-top liberals; the four people left who still support Bush; people who bash Bush simply because it's cool to do; people who don't listen; cats; the fact that my dog smells horrible and still insists on trying to sleep on my bed (where only one horrible-smelling person is supposed to sleep, and that is me); closed-minded people; people who listen to shitty music; people who don't listen to music period; people who have no sense of humor or who can't appreciate my particularly warped one; girls who only go out with "cool/hot" guys who are almost always assholes and then have the audacity to bitch to me that all guys are insensitive pricks; fighting with my girlfriend; dumbasses who don't believe in global warming; assholes who won't shut the fuck up already about global warming; gas; driving (to clarify, I used to love it but now that I do nothing but it I fucking hate it); the fact that Ben didn't stay here when he moved after Katrina; Ben's steroid-enhanced muscles; people who don't like Star Wars; people who have never seen Star Wars; people who don't like Star Wars despite having never seen any of them; child molestors; when people don't come to see me play; sixteen year old kids with BMW's that their parents bought them; people that have nicer guitars than I do (which is everyone); people that won't read all of this list; people who think taking pictures equals photography or makes them photographers; people who think that because they write a bunch of bullshit separated by line breaks that it equals poetry or makes them poets; girls who have pussies that smell like turkey; a girl I know to whom the last three things I listed apply; pretentious snobs; Fox News; when I fart and no one notices; middle-aged women who watch Desperate Housewives and think it speaks to them; people who are too stupid to grasp the concept of satire; anyone that has ever woken me up, whether I needed to be woken up or not; the process of waking up in general; people who make assumptions; hypocrites; people who don't know the difference between good music/movies/whatever and music/movies/whatever that they like; when girls start talking about weight; the fact that Godzilla never visited Los Angeles; the fact that Los Angeles still hasn't broken off the continent yet; wearing pants; people who think they're hot shit and aren't; people who are hot shit but don't think they are; people who make the same face and peace sign in 20 million of the same MySpace pictures; slutty girls; people who blow me off; when I blow someone off; people who don't speak English in places where English needs to be spoken (I'm talking to you, McDonald's), people who listen to songs, but not albums; people that don't listen to Tool; people who only talk about their car; people who talk on cell phones in movies; Bible-thumpers; holes in my sock.
And the worst part is, now I feel like I've actually done something productive with my day.
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