Give the writers whatever it is that they want!

I need to get out into the air that I'm a television addict. I also need to get out into the air that I'm a good television addict, which means I don't watch horseshit. Which is exactly what is about to dominate my TV if the writers and the studios don't get their asses in gear and reach some kind of resolution to the writer's strike that's been going on the last month or so. I basically keep checking websites eight times a day to make sure there isn't a headline that says one of these two things: a) "Studios Decide Not To Fuck Over The Little Guys For Once," or, b) "Writers Done Bitching; Return To Jobs." Now, I know that the writers are justified in their strike, because, as always, the big studios are boning people out of they're due. But honest to God, I don't particularly care what happens, as long as Lost and Heroes and The Office come back on and they're still good. I don't want to be stuck with reality shows for eternity. I don't want large gaps in shows to kill interest in them and thus ratings and thus the shows themselves. If I walk into the room and find someone watching America's Next Top Model again, someone's going to die. It might be you.

So please, corporate assholes, give the writers whatever it is that they want. I understand that they want residuals from DVD and online (i.e. iTunes) sales. I'm not sure quite what residuals are, but give them plenty of those. Shit, give each writer a Chevy Tahoe filled with koalas just for good measure; some people think they're already extinct anyway (or at least I do.) But for the love of fuck, give me my good TV back, you greedy sumbitches.